By Lynn Grubb
Had I not known beforehand, I would have never guessed this
was a book about adoption. Author Paige Adams Strickland describes a very funny, quirky, interesting
family that reads more like a biography than a typical adoption reunion book. Paige’s memoir is an everyday story of life
growing up in the 60s, 70s and 80’s. It made me laugh and it made me cry, but
most of all it draws the reader into her life growing up adopted.
Paige was raised in the suburbs of Cincinnati, Ohio -- an
hour away from where I grew up in Dayton. Paige grew up in a very similar way as I did and many times, I felt as if I was reading about my own feelings from a journal. I could identify with her vivid descriptions
of popping Jiffy Pop popcorn and watching Lawrence Welk with her grandma
Frances and playing card games like Fish and Old Maid.
I was smitten with the beautiful descriptions of Paige’s grandmothers -- wanting to crawl right into the book and experience those two amazing ladies. I felt like I went along as a passenger on Paige’s annual family vacation to Florida to lounge on the raft she shared with her dad. It was easy to get drawn into Paige’s book into another time and place.
I was smitten with the beautiful descriptions of Paige’s grandmothers -- wanting to crawl right into the book and experience those two amazing ladies. I felt like I went along as a passenger on Paige’s annual family vacation to Florida to lounge on the raft she shared with her dad. It was easy to get drawn into Paige’s book into another time and place.
Paige always knew she was adopted and blended in with her adoptive
family enough that people generally did not ask her about adoption. She refers to her unknown birth mother as
“The Lady Who Had Me” which makes sense, considering adoptees from the closed
era were never told their mother’s names.
The topic of adoption was rarely discussed within Paige’s family,
although there was a “story” she heard about her adoption that Paige knew
intuitively did not add up. But like most
adopted kids from that era, she just went with it, until she had the power to
actually learn the truth.
Paige describes feeling different both within her family and
at school, her secret beginnings, her insecurities growing up and her teenage angst.
I found it interesting that she never
told anybody she was adopted for fear of something terrible unleashing. This is in contrast to my own way of handling
adoption by telling anybody who asked.
Paige describes it like this:
“I decided to forget all about it (adoption). I wanted
everyone else to forget it as well. It
was an awful secret and a ‘cross to bear’, as Grandma Elsie would have put it,
but I would live with that, resolved to never tell a soul that I was
adopted. I hated that part of myself,
and the only way to accept it was to make like it didn’t happen. . .I was
determined that not a single friend of mine would ever know my secret, no
matter what sort of convoluted story I had to invent.”
She further states,
“With adoption never disclosed, no one would ever have
a reason to treat me differently or regard me as flawed.”
Like many adoptees,
Paige both admired and felt different from the mother who raised her. I imagine that having a younger brother (described
as their “mother’s clone”) who was biological to her parents, added to the
feelings of being different. Paige
describes her brother’s birth like this:
“During the days following his birth, I watched a parallel
universe; the actual one I lived in and the one in which I saw what it would
have been like had I been born into this family the way my brother experienced
it. Even though I was six-and-a-half, I understood that I had missed out on
this kind of fanfare and pageantry. My
start in life was different, and I wished intensely that I had been born the
way Vince was.”
When Paige described her difficulties adjusting when moving
during elementary school and then later post-graduation, I understood what she
felt completely. I have a theory that
adoptees have a harder time saying goodbye and dealing with change than
non-adoptees. We want to hold on to the
people, places and things that give us comfort for a lot longer than most.
One interesting thing
Paige demonstrates in her book is the difference between loving a favorite
family vacation spot versus moving to that place forever. After fantasizing about moving to Florida
myself during many snowy Ohio winters, it was interesting having a secret peak
into what living at a favorite vacation spot may have been like after being raised
in the Midwest.
I was cheering Paige on as she met the love of her life even
though her father did not approve. My
own parents had a difficult time letting me go when it was time and I admire how Paige holds on to her own dreams and goals even in the face of disapproval.
By accident in 1987, Paige learns that she falls favorably under
Ohio’s (former) 3-tiered law and that legally she can order her original birth
certificate. Once the birth certificate
arrives, a new chapter of Paige’s life begins, long before the internet age and
search angels. Paige begins to unravel
the secrets about her beginnings and finds that the facts surrounding her birth are not the only secrets to emerge.
I highly recommend this book to anyone within the adoption
community and outside of it, because it’s just a really good read for a rainy
Sunday afternoon.
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| Page Adams Strickland |
Paige describes the process of writing her memoir here
You can read more about Paige's book here
Paige Adams Strickland is an author and teacher from Cincinnati,
OH. She is an adoptee from the Baby-Scoop Era who searched for and
found her birth family. She is married with two daughters. In her free
time, Paige enjoys her 4 cats, gardening, travel, reading, movies and
baseball games. You can connect with her via Facebook, Twitter and Linked In.
