I
recently posed the question about why we see so few parents of color adopting trans-racially and a semi-fruitful discussion
ensued within the adoption community. However folks' inability to choose intellectual courage and to hear
out differing thoughts seemed to get in the way of meaningful and forward moving
conversations.
My initial question still remains - why don't black people formally adopt waiting children of color at the same rate as Caucasian's? In a similar respect to how adoptive parents of color are underrepresented, I've found that adoptive parents with disabilities
are also underrepresented
both in terms of adopting, and being able to speak out about their
experiences.
The few stories I've heard to this end show that these parents are able to successfully adopt and parent children with their own physical, mental or cognitive limitations holding them back only to the degree they allow. In the same way adoptive parents should have guidance through the homestudy process in learning their own strengths and weaknesses in terms of mental stamina, community resources, or subconscious bias or prejudices, these particular families come in to adoption aware of their limitations related to their disabilities. Bob Vogel is a paraplegic who adopted through foster care.
Jennifer Arnold and Bill Klein have taken to the TV to showcase their parenting choices and Jamie Berke, an adoptive parent
who is deaf, has established a listing of deaf children awaiting
adoption at the Deaf Adoption News Service. I'd like to hear more
stories like this!
Parenting
does not come with a handbook. We all
have different skills and abilities that would make us good (or not so
good) parents of an child, whether via adoption or not. We adoptees often carry unique joys and difficulties,
likely have some trauma history, oftentimes feel a sense of not belonging, or attempting to be chameleon in a world obsessed with putting people in
boxes. Adoptive parenting also comes with its own unique needs -
handling ignorant comments in a stern and respectful manner, fighting (or embracing) the
need to seemingly always educate others about private familial matters,
learning what areas are safe and accessible for certain behaviors, I could go on and on. Wouldn't it then make sense that perhaps caring adults with physical disabilities may be an especially great population to care for children in transition or needing to be adopted?
