I ran through the relationships that are kind of close:
Cousins: a cousin, to me, was always someone who lived far away. Who I was related to but didn't know anything about. We shared the same grandparents. Our parents were brothers and sisters. No, my friends who had brothers and sisters seemed closer to their siblings than how I had been with my cousins.
Friends: I have close friends I would do just about anything for. Our families are close, but as close as siblings? I'm not sure. My friends seem closer to their siblings than they are to me. No, being siblings seems more meaningful on some level than being friends.
Well, I'm a mother but being an older sister isn't really like being a mother. They have a mother. We share a mother. I'm protective of them but I'm not responsible for their care nor am I in charge.
Figuring out how to be a sister is hard stuff.